I thought about writing this to help me overcome my depression, and to help others. I keep getting thoughts about ending my life. I thought about giving up this race. The other day I thought about jumping off a bridge that I was walking on.
I’ve been dealing with trauma, two events that changed my life, and in the middle of that my dog passed away a month before the second event. Yesterday after work I felt hopeless, and I didn’t know what else to do. I hit rock bottom, and I was having suicidal thoughts. I didn’t know what else to do, so I thought to make a list. I had made a list on reasons why I should stay. It’s not a big list, but it was something I needed to do. To remind myself that this storm won’t last forever. If you need to phone the crisis hotline 1800-273-8255, and reach out for help, please do I have phoned, when I reached my breaking point.
Helping others overcome their trauma
Watching my nephew grow up
Sharing my story with others
There’s not much on my list, I couldn’t think of anything else at the moment. Trying to think of anything my mind starts to draw blank. It’s like it doesn’t know ho to process anything. Remember you’re loved, and that you’re not alone in this. There are people in your life that do care for you. With brave wings you will fly. You will get through this. Remember your feelings are valid I keep reminding myself that, I try to talk myself that they are invalid but it’s not true, my thoughts are valid. Remember it’s not your fault for feeling this way.